There was yelling.
it kill you to lift a finger around here? After everything we've,
I've, done for you and it's all 'Oh, I couldn't possibly do that,
I'm a big fluffy puppy now, but I'm still too freakin' evil to
hold a coupla two-by-fours'!"
There was sneering.
"Oh yeah, you've
been a true comfort to yours truly in my time of need. 'Sides, you're
a big whelp now, figure you could stand a little heavy lifting, make
you feel all big and manly in front of all those pretty little girls."
"Oh, you so
better be talking about my muscles, mister."
it, your muscles."
The occasional half-hearted
shove. In the sense that they didn't want to start anything with Buffy
around, not that they didn't want to start anything. 'Cause they did.
"Oh, I could
take you, Spike. If you weren't you know, a vampire, or really, really
if you weren't the biggest girly-man this side of Vegas."
goodness, but that in no way detracted from the absolutely genuine hostility
they would both swear before god and man was pouring from both of them
in dangerously large, metaphorical waves.
stupid dead guy."
"Oh my, no
more snappy comebacks, please. Wouldn't want you to strain your single
brain cell there, mate."
It was comfortable.
this time you've finally managed to learn the English language. Makes
a Limey proud."
"Oh, sod off!"
Then, as Xander
stood twelve inches from the man he could safely say he hated much more
than ... well, than a whole lot of really, really ... unpleasant things,
there was just lots and lots of dejavu all over again. Or dejavu for
the first time ... or maybe it could only happen once ...
In any case, it
was happening again. Buffy's basement, person he hated, death and gloomalthough
that was more a general state of affairs these days than an immediate
sort of a problemand lips, kissing type lips, as in his lips touching
Spike's lips, and Spike's hands touching his
Jesus! What the
freakin' hell was he doing? More to the point, what the freakin' hell
was Spike doing?!
"What the hell
do you think you're doing!"
"What the bloody
hell do you think you're doing!"
"Me? You kissed
"I bloody well
did not! I was standin' here havin' a perfectly nice argument and suddenly
you're bloody well all over me!"
Oh yeah, this was
all sorts of dejavu.
They glanced at
each others lips. Probably not intentionally. Then there were identical
horrified expressions as they realised they were still practically touching,
followed by a retreat that would have made Superman dizzy.
... this basement! It's ... haunted, or, or ... cursed! Yeah! Stupid
Spike was prepared
to believe that. "Right, well. You just stay the hell out of it,
then, huh and we should all be happy."
well believe it didn't happen. If you breathe so much as a word of the...
thing that didn't happen ... I will reach down your throat and pull
out your lungs so fast you'll still be drawing your last breath."
There was glaring.
Lots of glaring.
They didn't let
the dazed sagging against the wall kick in until after Xander
had stormed up the stairs, and out of hearing.
was the first day.
There was more glaring
than usual. Not because something had happened, because nothing had,
so why would they want to avoid each other and so what if they wanted
to yell at each other; Spike was annoying and Xander was a prat and
it was none of their business anyway so the Scoobies could just bloody
well leave it alone.
The Scoobies didn't
miss the united front, either. Coupled with the yelling, the frequent
glancing, the even more frequent glancing away they ... well, they didn't
give it much thought, but then it was the end of the world and all that,
so ... But it did register.
Maybe that was why
Buffy paired Xander with Spike. Maybe she wanted to give them a chance
to work through their issues.
"I want full
patrols out tonight. We've had more Bringer activity than I'd like.
Xan, if you're not up to it ..." He'd gotten stabbed last week,
but what was a little stab wound? He had energy to burn. "Fine,
then I want you with Spike. I'll take the girls."
If so, it was nice
that she did it without a very long accompanying speech. They both appreciated
that. And seeing as nothing had changed between the two of them ...
Buffster, the bleached menace and I it is. I've got no problem with
that. None at all."
Spike rolled his
eyes and growled, "Fine."
They didn't miss
So, there they were,
Bronzeish side of town. Bringers abounding. Or, a-stabbing, just where
he was not quite not standing, and how the hell did they do that without
eyes anyway? And Xander was holding his own, if he did say so himself.
Sure, maybe his own was an increasingly small bit of ground in the corner
between two brick walls, but he wasn't dead and that had to count for
Spike, on the other
hand, was holding not only his own but most of at least two dead creepy
guys in robes, and if he wasn't currently about to die Xander would
surely have been making an 'eew' face at that lovely sight. Holding,
dropping, then watching in amusement as Xander ever more desperately
parried blows from two pretty damned determined evil monks.
Xander spared a
moment to be annoyed. "Spike, if I get stabbed again, Buffy is
gonna be so pissed at you."
Spike smirked, shrugged,
moved forward, took the head off one of them and waited while Xander
skewered the other.
There was mostly
panting. And not the good sort. Then there was glaring.
all the help Spike!" And sarcasm. "You couldn't have stepped
in a moment earlier? I could have been killed!"
"Oh, calm down,
whelp, I wouldn't let anything happen to your pansy ass. Like you said,
Buffy'd probably stake me and I gotta say you're just not worth it."
"She so would
... And hey! What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
mate. I'd die for you. You're the meaning my existence has been missing."
Okay, so there were
lots of sarcasm.
Followed by a rather
grievous slip of the tongue.
why you kissed me, is it? I light up your life, do I? The wind beneath
And a rather pregnant
silence. Except for the growling. Because it occurred to Xander just
a moment too late that nothing had happened. It hadn't happened, he
didn't remember it, and he certainly didn't think about it. Neither
There was no smirking.
There was an alley
outside the Bronze, two people who hated each other, one of whom had
just saved the other's life, getting in each other's faces somehow turning
into getting into each other's mouths and bugger it if this wasn't all
ringing just a few too many bells.
There were more
thoughts this time, but that was probably because it went on for so
much longer, though they were mostly along the lines of 'Jesus, this
guy's not half bad' and 'fuck, I could get used to this' followed not
too distantly by 'shit, not again!' and rather more vaguely by 'just
a couple more seconds'.
They broke away
at pretty much the same moment, Xander to strong arms around his waist,
Spike to long, rough fingers in his hair. Expressions went from dazed,
to shocked, to horrified, to opposite sides of the alley.
It was pretty good,
for a first kiss.
"What the fuck
do you think you're doing?!"
"Oh no, oh
no no no. That did not just happen again. Or for the first time,
cause there was no first time, and no second time 'cause there was no
first time and why the hell do you keep doing that?!"
Spike could see
Xander, but Xander couldn't see Spike ... which was a good thing. Not
a thing to be remedied by walking away from his oh so comforting wall
towards the little patch of extra blackness that couldn't possibly be
walking towards him either and where did his wall go?
There was not
going to be anymore kissing. Or any kissing, 'cause Spike would never
kiss Xander and Xander would sure as hell never kiss back, so it stood
to reason that anything that might have happened hadn't happened 'cause
it was against all laws of nature and anyone who said otherwise could
just bloody well stuff it up their arse.
Then, well, then
it was lucky that at least one of them was a supernatural being.
There was pretty
much full body contact this time, much more tongue and much less thinking.
Except o'course, there wasn't 'cause it could never ...
Oh, fuck it.
There was lips.
There was also tongue, teeth, hands, moans, hot, cold, very little thinking
and a fair bit of grinding. Followed by weak knees, but neither of them
would be admitting to that any time soon.
They drew back and
looked at each other. The 'Shit' went without saying, which was probably
a good thing 'cause there was a fair chance it would have sounded less
seriously pissed off and more incredulously turned on.
They picked up the
weapons that had got dropped during the ... ah, the fight. Carefully
didn't look at each other. Walked to the mouth of the alley. They could
see Giles and Anya coming towards them, still a fair way down the street.
They paused. "So,
a ah, momentary aberration."
happen again, neither, so no point in bringin' it up."
... nothing's changed. Good then."
Glanced at each
might be getting better."
A sideways look,
a faint smirk.
friend, you really should learn not to underestimate the Xan-man."
They both relaxed
you into a fighter yet, mate"
you just might at that."
That night the Scoobies
noticed something odd.
Spike and Xander
didn't glare at each other once all evening.
was the fifth day.
So nothing changed.
At least, that's
what they'd say if you asked them.
A grand total of
two days later it was generally decided among the Scoobies that it was
becoming ever more obvious they had to meet to discuss what was going
on between Spike and Xander.
Spike and Xander,
naturally enough, weren't invited.
It took nearly an
hour for no one to say what they were all thinking.
to be very pleased with the outcome.
Spike and Xander
were in the living room. Sitting on the couch, together. Sharing popcorn,
without complaining. And snickering over Jet Lee movies. Which they
agreed were shallow, unrealistic, almost impossible to understand, but
hey, at least they were full of explosions, and what else were movies
for, after all?
Low lights, close
proximity, explosions: it was all really very romantic.
Which was problem
Problem two made
itself known when Xander caught Spike looking at him. Which could have
been rendered insignificant if Spike had followed the rules and looked
away. Like Xander had.
didn't. And at some point looking turned into gazing and if someone
didn't do something soon there was going to be a whole new set of problems.
Along the lines of, 'how do we get downstairs without all the people
in the kitchen noticing anything?'.
whoah. Not happening, Spike, remember?"
A sneer, a snort,
and that was all very well but Spike's eyes didn't move from Xander's
"Like I'd want
to anyway, boy. And I don't know what you're talking about."
Xander poked Spike
in the ... arm. Spike looked up, startled. And then they were back to
glaring. Which was good. Glaring was normal, glaring was ... not helping.
"Oh, you want
to. I think we've proved pretty convincingly that you want to."
"Get over yourself,
mate, it's like you said, momentary aberration, never happening again.
'Sides, you weren't that good."
it's never happening agaiand hey! I'll have you know I'm a damn
good kisser! Way better than you"
It was, naturally,
at this point that, meeting concluded, Anya wandered into the living
Another snort. "I
yer dreams. Hundred years experience here, mate."
Then there was an
ex-vengeance demon sitting in the armchair across from them and watching
them both curiously.
Spike, Xander is a very good kisser. It was one of the few complimentary
things Cordelia said about him when we were friends and I have found
it to be quite accurate over the years."
Spike shook his
head dismissively. "You're hardly what I'd call and independent
Anya seemed to consider
this. "Well, that is true, I suppose, although with my experience
I do have some judgement about these things. Still, Willow!" shouted,
and Xander was suddenly terrified. Never more so than when Willow, Faith,
Buffy and Dawn emerged from the kitchen a moment later.
were discussing Xander's aptitude when it comes to kissing. Spike has
pointed out that I just may be biased on the matter. You, being gay,
and obviously no longer interested in him, should be more impartial."
Willow, to the delight
and dismay of the respective people on the couch, smiled and answered
great kisser. I mean, I haven't kissed many guys, and I would never
want to say anything against Oz, but he was the best of all the guys
I've, you know, lip-locked with. He used to do this thing with his tongue
What? What thing?
Spike managed a
disinterested head-tilt. Quite a feat, considering. "Thing?"
And a sneer. A sneer was always good. "Right. You're as bad as
Anya, wouldn't want to hurt the whelp's feelings."
from an unexpected source.
take it from me, vamp. That is one wicked-ass thing that boy does with
Faith smirked, dropping
herself on the end of the couch beside Spike.
An incredulous expression
formed on Spike's face and his head whipped around to stare at the man
sinking into the couch beside him.
is there anyone here you haven't done?"
There was certainly
no jealousy. 'Cause Spike didn't care. Never going to happen again.
"Yes, of course
He was going to
get whiplash at this rate.
Her eyes widened
and she took a step closer to Willow. "I never! I would never ...
oh, well, except that one time. But we were both really drunk
and it was just friendly, you know, and it's not like it ever happened
again and Xander I am so going to kill you for this."
A muttered, "Promise?"
now you mention it, I do remember that thing with the tongue ..."
all tryin' to say that a twenty-two year old flabby carpenter is a better
kisser than me, a hundred and forty-nine year old vampire?!"
After a moment Buffy
commented, "Well, maybe not better." It was small consolation.
Anya jumped in.
"Yes, Spike, you were certainly very good. Technique-wise, Xander's
got nothing on you, but Xander is much less ..."
There was growling.
"Spontaneous? I'll show you spontaneous."
Yes, we can all
safely say we know what happened next.
should have gone for Faith. She was sitting right there. Logically,
that's what most of the Scoobies were expecting him to do. Privately,
no one could work up much in the way of shock when he turned the other
Except Xander, Xander
was pretty surprised. He was also pretty damn turned on and hello problem
This time there
was kissing and glaring, which everyone was fairly impressed by. Then
Xander apparently did that thing with his tongue, 'cause Spike's eyes
fluttered shut, and there was mostly just kissing. And moans. After
a moment there were fingers tangled in hair and a whole big lack of
space between them, even considering the whole joined at the lips thing.
There were mixed
reactions from the spectators.
Well, okay, there
was one reaction pretty much across the board, except maybe from Willow.
That being, uh ...
raised eyebrows. Of course.
Spike and Xander
mostly ignored them as they went about defying all natural laws with
They broke apart
with a gasp a good two minutes later. Panting, staring at each other.
You could have cut the incredulity with a knife.
their throat, two heads whipped around. The Scoobies noticed, then,
that the matching expressions of disgust materialised just a second
later than they would have expected.
Xander turned to
Spike. "What the fuck was that?" His voice unsteady.
A beat. "That
was me ... provin' a point, is what it was. No way are you a better
kisser than me." His voice equally unsteady.
"We can't ...
you ... I mean ... Don't, don't do it again, right?"
me, whelp, once is more than enough."
They stood. They
glared. Fuck, but they wanted to do it again. Xander turned and nearly
ran up the stairs. Spike watched.
Dawn spoke up for
the first time. "So, did he do that thing with his tongue?"
And he answered
before he could stop himself. "Fuck, yeah." Then turned back
with a start to the group of girls now watching him with knowing expressions.
"This never happened. Never, you understand? I'll sodding
well kill everyone of you if you ever breathe a word of it."
Two slayers, one
all-powerful witch, one ex-vengeance demon and one teenager raised brows
in identical expressions of 'oh yeah, you and what army?'.
Spike growled and
stomped down to his basement.
They glanced at
each other. Well, wasn't this an interesting turn of events?
was the seventh day.
They avoided each
other. It seemed like the best solution for all concerned.
Which might have
sounded like par for the course. Ask the Scoobies they would have said,
sure, what's the big deal, Spike and Xander have always avoided each
However, what they
were coming to realise was that Spike and Xander had always actively
avoided each other. As in there was growling and flouncing, which was
quite probably meant to be swaggering, big words and very much getting
enthusiastically into each other's faces before the inevitable dramatic
That was not
what they were doing now. Now, they were simply managing to never quite
be in the same room at the same time unless there were a whole lot of
other people there and at least six feet between them.
Giles commented that something had to be done.
He missed the noise.
The wasn't the only
Which isn't to say
it wasn't a touchy subject.
No one could quite
imagine it. Spike and Xander together. So it was a good thing they'd
all gotten such a eyeful two days ago and could happily let their minds
while away the hours contemplating that image. There were arguments,
fights even, pros and cons considered and reconsidered, feelings examined,
dismissed and eventually, maybe, let go of and finally they all came
to the conclusion that maybe the two of them should give it a go. And
to inform Spike and Xander of their decision, but that was merely a
And thus it was
that Buffy locked Spike and Xander in the basement and told them to
work it out, for god's sake, and give us all a break.
Well, she was the
slayer. If they'd wanted subtle, they should have gotten someone else
to do it.
She took herself
out to the backyard where she wouldn't be able to hear the noises.
The gang gathered
around. It was only a matter of time, now.
in the basement ...
Contrary to their
explicit instructions, so far there was just awkward silence.
"Um ... hey
so, I'll just be going then."
There was very little
Xander waited. Spike
ran out of things to say.
After a moment.
"Slayer, well, she's not completely, you know, wrong. About this."
Xander sighed. "Yeah,
well. I was prepared to go the ignore it 'till it goes away route, but
I guess you might be, you know, right. For once. We could ... talk."
As far as antagonism
went, it was a pretty poor attempt.
And for once, Spike
didn't mention it.
"We are clear
on the fact that I don't like you, arent we?"
you, too, Spike."
I just though we should clear that up first."
do you mean first? What's second? I'm not doing ... that thing ... again.
Talk yes, but Spike, we agreed, remember! I am not going to kiss you!
I don't care what you say, I've made up my mind and I'm sticking to
it. No kissing, no touching, no nothing of any sort that involves your
body being anywhere near my body. Aarg! What the hell did I just say?
Get back over on to you side of the basement, you, you evil creature
of the night, right now!"
Spike fell back
onto old habits. He glared.
"Grow up, would
you, Xander? 'S just a kiss. Don't have to mean a damn thing. Point
of fact, let me assure you right now that it doesn't. I don't like you,
you don't like me, bit of snogging ain't going to change that."
you know what'd change it even less? No snogging at all!"
"Bit late for
So why the hell do you want to do it again?"
There was a pregnant
pause. Spike moved closer. Xander didn't move at all.
"Why do you?"
"I don't ...
fuck, I don't ... I don't know." Whispered, desperate.
neither do I. But I do. Fuck I do. I want you. We just gotta, you know,
get it outta out systems."
Spike's lips were
getting closer. Xander had a vague sort of notion they shouldn't be
Just one kiss and it'll be horrible and unnatural and it'll never happen
you say ..."
Xander stepped back
Spike was annoyed.
"Look, Xander ..."
I know. But, not here, alright? This basement's bad enough even if there
weren't all sitting in the backyard waiting for us to come out."
I'm damn well procrastinating! Now get the hell up there and open that
Spike rolled his
eyes and stalked up the stairs.
He tried the handle.
"'S locked, mate."
Xander just looked
at him. "So? Vamp strength there. Open it."
"Jeez, Spike. I'll fix it as soon as we get back. Stop being such
a little Buffy's-boy."
A growl, a glare,
an impressive show of strength and if Xander had been standing any closer
they might not have gotten out of the basement after all.
They snuck out of
you know, let them know where we're going?"
they did? I bloody well think not. Serve 'em right if they think we're
A beat. A sigh.
"We are so whipped."
They left a note.
"So, my place?
Ugh, no. Assuming this place doesn't get flattened, I'll never be able
to go inside again. Your place"
blown up, ya wanker."
"Jeez, 's plenty
a empty houses around at the moment. Just pick one an' I'll break into
"We are not
breaking into someone's house, Spike."
They ended up at
There was smirking.
you think if we looked around a little more you could find someplace
"Shut up, Spike.
If you bothered to actually pay for something once in a goddamn
while, I might just have been able to afford something else. And what
the hell do you care anyway?"
Xander opened the
door, watching as Spike sashayed in and dropped his coat.
After a second the
door closed with a disturbingly final sounding click.
on with it then."
"Me? Why do
I have to start it?"
older, two, it was your stupid idea."
"If it's such
a stupid idea then why the bloody hell are you still here?"
that's a damn good question."
It was tense. There
were crossed arms.
"So then leave!"
maybe I will!"
That did it.
Spike was across
the room faster than Xander could blink. Xander was pushed up against
the door and there were tongues. Pushing and grinding and glaring and
This time it didn't
stop. Spike fought to take over Xander's mouth, Xander fought to do
the same to Spike. There was yanking and pulling and it was pretty much
as close as they could get to fighting without any actual violence.
It was also fucking
Spike turned them
around, used his strength to push Xander towards the bed. Xander didn't
argue. He did, however, take a moment to rip Spike's shirt over his
head. He scraped his fingernails down Spike's back. Spike growled, shuddered.
When Xander smiled, it was dark, dangerous and Spike responded with
one of his own.
do this, Harris?"
A pause, narrowed
eyes, then, "Hell, yeah."
Spike tossed Xander
down onto the bed.
"So hot, so
fucking hot. Wanna fuck you, Xan. Wanna chain you to the wall and ride
you 'till you're screaming, begging for me to let you come."
Xander watched him.
Spike lowered himself onto Xander body, whispered in his ear.
"But you wouldn't
like begging, would you, pet? Not me. I could make you, though. I could
go for hours. Hard and fast and long and slow, ripping you open like
nothing your bird ever put up there. I could come inside you again and
again 'till you were so full it'd feel like you were bursting and then
do it just once more."
Spike fisted Xander's
it take, Xander? How could I make you scream?"
Xander moved against
him. One hand pulled at the roots of Spike's hair, the other traced
rough patterns over his backside.
Xander tilted his
head and bit into the muscles of Spike's shoulder.
Spike shouted, arched,
grinding his cock into Xander.
"You like chains,
do you Spike? How about if I tied you up? All alone in that basement
all day long. I could, you know. I've done it before. No one would wonder."
Spike took Xander's
rolled them over.
He smiled darkly.
let me fuck you down there, Spike? When Buffy might walk in at any moment?
Or Willow, or Anya? Can you imagine the look on their faces? But you
wouldn't care, would you Spike? Chained to the wall, on your knees with
my dick up your ass."
They rocked against
each other. Hard. Desperate.
want them to watch?"
There was shouting
then. Clenching and shuddering and clawing at skin and hair and an endless
moment as Spike looked at Xander and Xander looked at Spike and they
both knew, knew, exactly what they were doing, whom they
were doing, and fuck, but that was enough.
They came together,
staring into each other's eyes.
After a moment Xander
rolled off of Spike, flopping down beside him.
They stared at the
ceiling for a long while. Eventually, Xander's breathing evened out.
Spike rolled his
head to look at Xander. He raised an eyebrow expectantly.
Xander glanced over
and shifted uncomfortably.
that was nibad. That was very ... bad."
Spike looed away.
Bad. 'S exactly what I was thinkin'."
... I guess my system is now officially Spike free. Gee, that is a ...
They glanced at
Anya ... And ... you still love Buffy."
"Sure ... Buffy."
There was silence
for a moment.
we won't be doin' this again then, mate."
ah, that was the deal, wasn't it?"
Xander paused for
a moment. It was a meaningful silence. Spike looked over.
tonight, didn't happen, never happening again."
Xander flicked another
glance Spike's way. Spike started to smile.
Xander looked like
he was trying not to smile. "Didn't happen."
There was grinning.
yes, tonight. What, you're going deaf in your old age?"
makin' sure. Moron."
There was teasing.
It was comfortable.
was the last day.
They showed up at
Revello Drive just before sunrise the next day. The gang were by turns
frantic and smug.
"So, did you
two get everything sorted out?"
They glared at her.
Just for old time's sake.
Buffy waited. "And?
Spike and Xander
glanced at each other.
"Not a damn
back to Buffy.
You two were gone all night and nothing happened?" She threw
up her hands and walked away. "God, men ..."
Spike and Xander
looked at each other, considering, for a long moment.
Then Xander grinned
widely for a moment and turned to walk up the stairs.
Spike went downstairs.
Halfway across the room he caught sight of his chains. He paused. Titled
his head. Glanced at the ceiling and smiled.
Xander would have
to come down here eventually.
Play his cards right,
maybe nothing could happen.
It was a good thought.
With a smile he
lay down for some much needed rest.
... well, that was the first day, too.